Finding the Pieces (Part 1). Meet the Staff: Whitnie Trost
““Together, we’ve discovered that there is almost always a solution to any puzzle. We only have to find the pieces that fit just right.” ”
My name is Whitnie Trost and I am a mother of six: five boys and a girl. Five are now married and have produced nine grandchildren — clearly, we are trying to set some serious records. My youngest, Christopher, is now 20 and experiences Down syndrome and Autism. He is one of the reasons I love working for FACT Oregon as a Senior Program Specialist. (Just had a thought… is that title just because I am over 50? Hmmmm.)
Over the past 9 years of supporting families and sharing so many of my stories, I realize that in having so many kids, disability has touched my life in many ways. Besides Chris, I have a son who experiences ADHD, another with ADD, and a daughter who stutters and was on an IEP in grade school. Throw in a ton of anxiety for some of my kids and add a big dash of depression, and well, quite frankly, disability is just another reason to keep a constant supply of chocolate in my pantry. I often laugh when people assume that Christopher, whose disability is visible, is the most challenging child to raise. I am here to tell you… raising any child is just hard.
My journey with Chris has indeed been eventful, though. Chris does not use verbal language, and while our work over years with an AAC communication device that he loves has yielded slow but steady progress, one of my life’s biggest riddles to solve is still decoding what Chris feels, needs, and wants and what supports work best for him. Problem Solving with Creativity is both the best game and the best life lesson for me and all my kids. When there is something that Chris struggles to do, we discuss as a family what worked about a situation, what did not work, and decide when and how we can try again.
Here’s an example: when Chris started high school, he did great at first walking into school on his own. But about a month in, the brother closest in age to him left for an extended period, and Chris really missed him. This, combined with some other situations happening at school, caused trauma for Chris, and he began refusing to get out of the car. His teachers and I tried many things to lure him out, but Chris would not budge. For two months. I knew he needed to be in school and that he could totally do it, but just getting out of the car and through the school doors became a huge barrier. I knew if I could just get him inside, he would stay. But he was stuck in a groove, and I realized that if he expected him to change, we needed to change things up too.
I then had an epiphany. Chris loved driving to visit my friend and her family who lived across the street from school. So, instead of going directly to school, we drove to my friend’s house. While Chris went in to get a snack, I went to the car, got a wheelchair I borrowed from the school, and moved my car out of sight. This removed the get-away option that might terminate the mission at hand. When Chris came out, I offered him a ride in the wheelchair. I pushed him across the street and straight through the school doors where a staff member met us. Chris stayed at school, and our 2 month no school standoff ended.
I will not reveal how long I pushed Chris in the wheelchair. I can share, though, that I lost several pounds and fielded many funny comments from students like “You know he can walk right?” and “Do you charge for this service?”
But here’s what I know. We saw a problem. We went through our problem-solving steps and found a solution. We focused on the end goal and found a different means to that end. We do this process for everything now, and my kids do it with their families. Together, we’ve discovered that there is almost always a solution to any puzzle. We only have to find the pieces that fit just right.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of Finding the Pieces That Fit, which will post in January 2023.
