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Supports

Here’s to you, Christopher!

May 29, 2020 by Molly Williamson

By Whitnie Trost

So I am a mom of 6 kids- 5 boys and one girl. 30 years ago, I began my journey of being a mom and just kept going. I come from a big family and so does my husband, so when you find something you are good at, you go with it, strengthening your talents and all that. When I had my youngest son, Christopher, at the age of 34,  I had a house-full and there were many days when I thought my life was one never ending day. I often could not remember what day it was.  If it weren’t for my other kids going to school and having a schedule, pants and make up probably would have been an option I opted out of. I truly loved being a mom and I was totally used to, and really good at, chaos, but I am not going to lie, there were days when I thought stepping on Cheerios and squished applesauce, and being a mediator between my 14 year old and my 5 year old over Nintendo games was going to do me in.  I often wondered if my life would ever be more glamorous than what it was at that time.

Amazingly time went on and I survived each crazy day, and my oldest started high school, then my next one and then the next.  As this was going on my son Christopher, who experiences Down syndrome and Autism, was advancing in school.  We worked so hard to get him support in being successful and included in school and getting the right support in place to be able to experience the most appropriate school career, learning to be a kid and then a teenager by being with other kids and teenagers.  This was sometimes a long, stressful and even painful process, but, let’s face it, I have raised a million kids.  I am good with long, taxing and often annoying processes.

Christopher hit his stride in middle school and carried that stride on into high school.  This was not without trials,  and frustrations, but with constant communication with the school and a team that probably learned to just listen and do because I was a collaborative, brainstorming tiger mom.

Christopher made it through, having a ton of the same teachers all my other kids had when they went there and he made some really great friendships and relationships that have shaped his independence and purpose in life. Being able to attend all the classes that his friends from the neighborhood and church also attended helped him to work hard and not only receive but earn and achieve his Extended Diploma.

Boy smiling wearing checkered shirt, tie, and glasses outside on a basketball court

We knew when he was born that he was unique. We knew he was going to have to be stronger and more determined than anyone else to succeed, and we knew he would make us, as a family, better people than we ever would have been on our own. I think we were unprepared though, to realize that Chris would be funnier than all of us, smarter in so many ways than all of us, stronger and more determined than all of us, not afraid to call you out on things that don’t make sense, not afraid to show love, compassion and friendship with a simple fist bump, high five, and a gentle forehead touch to show that even though his face and mannerisms may not show it, he deeply and genuinely loves and appreciates you to his core.

Christopher we are so proud of you! Congratulations, and here’s to an ambitious, exciting and empowering future and another 18 great years. We love you bud!

Filed Under: General Tagged With: autism, blogs, determination, dignity of risk, diploma, down syndrome, Dream Big Dreams, graduation, high school, personal story, Supports, transition, whole life

Making Sense of Sensory Showings

April 16, 2019 by Molly Williamson

By Nicole Silverman

“There’s no adult special needs grocery store, restaurant, or post office.”

I’ve heard this phrase several times and it used to HAUNT me! Especially at a time in my life when I already felt like we couldn’t leave the house for ANYTHING because of my son’s behaviors and medical issues. I remember the day my husband and I called “being out in society” quits! It was summer, we had just moved into a new neighborhood and my son was 3 years old.  We were walking a few blocks to a neighborhood picnic… our first one! My son, Benjamin was in the wagon and as soon as we got to the small park with all the people – his screaming began… and didn’t stop. It felt like all 50 some people fell completely silent and were just watching us. I remember sweat literally pouring down my face and so were the tears. Nobody said hi, nobody came over to see if they could help, we were like weird aliens coming to earth for the first time. But what happened next, really sealed the “never leaving our house again” for both of us. Benjamin had severe acid reflux and when he became really upset, he would throw up! And he did… loud and lots and all three of us were covered in it. We could not leave the park soon enough. Walking quickly back to our house we decided we were done going out in public. We’d just stay home… FOREVER!

This is such a bad place to be… and if you are in this place right now in your journey you are not alone. But do not give up hope! Although it’s not for the faint of heart and it’s certainly not easy, COMMUNITY is worth it! Living a WHOLE life is worth it and your child learning to do hard things to be included in society is worth it the most!  

One of the reasons I LOVE working at FACT Oregon is how we partner with communities to provide what we call “soft landings”.  Our next one is April 28th at Northwest Children’s Theatre, for their sensory showing of Tenali, the Royal Trickster. What is a sensory showing? Basically, the lights are dimmed, the sound turned down, often times it’s a shorter time frame and ANYTHING goes. Seriously. It’s the perfect place to come and do something that might be very hard and I promise, you will not have 50 strangers looking at you like aliens! I remember our first time going to a sensory showing… just coming into the doors and taking a seat was a success for us. Literally, we left after 10 minutes. Now, we can come to the shorter plays and stay the entire time. We invite friends to go with us and practice keeping our shoes on the ENTIRE time. (my kid is still the loudest one there!)

Benjamin and our family at a sensory showing

So what happens for our family at those events that aren’t sensory? Sometimes we’re successful, and sometimes it’s really hard, dare I say disastrous.  But we are working daily towards getting to all events through many avenues. Does society need to be more accepting of those who need different supports to be involved in community? Absolutely! And I will continue to advocate and educate in every way possible. My goal as Benjamin’s mom is to never stop trying, learning, exploring ways to help him overcome some of his own obstacles and keep moving him forward with the right supports to be as successful as possible in the future.

My biggest encouragement to all families, especially with those who deal with big behaviors like we do… Don’t give up! Keep moving forward! Try it! And when it goes terribly wrong, take a break, call us here at FACT, investigate and rethink strategy… and try it again from a different angle.

p.s. My son’s 10 now… last summer at our neighborhood picnic we walked there with our neighbors/friends we now know, stayed and ate dinner and had a blast! Don’t give up! Want to join us on April 28th for NWCT’s sensory showing of Tenali, the Royal Trickster? Click for free tickets and details!

 

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Acceptence, advocacy, advocate, autism, Behavior, Belonging, Building Community, Cerebral Palsy, communication needs, Community, dignity of risk, Event, FACT Oregon, family, friends, Future, inclusion, meaningful participation, Northwest Childrens theater, personal story, sensory needs, Sensory Shows, support FACT, Supports, try hard things, When we stretch we grow, whole life, you can do hard things

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