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graduation

¡Esto es para tí, Christopher!

May 29, 2020 by Molly Williamson

Por Whitnie Trost

Bueno, soy una madre de 6 niños, 5 niños y una niña. Hace 30 años, comencé mi viaje de ser madre y seguí adelante. Vengo de una gran familia y mi esposo también, así que cuando encuentras algo en lo que eres bueno, lo haces, fortaleciendo tus talentos y todo eso. Cuando tuve a mi hijo menor, Christopher, a la edad de 34 años, tenía una casa llena y hubo muchos días en que pensé que mi vida era un día interminable. A menudo no podía recordar qué día era. Si no fuera porque mis otros hijos iban a la escuela y tenían un horario, los pantalones y el maquillaje probablemente habrían sido una opción de la que hubiese optado no usar. Realmente me encantó ser madre y estaba totalmente acostumbrada y muy buena con el caos, pero no voy a mentir, hubo días en que pensé en pisar Cheerios y puré de manzana y ser mediador entre mi hijo de 14 años y mi hijo de 5 años por los juegos de Nintendo me iba a ayudar. A menudo me preguntaba si mi algún día sería más glamorosa de lo que era en ese momento.

Increíblemente pasó el tiempo y sobreviví cada día. Mi hijo mayor comenzó la escuela secundaria, luego el siguiente y luego el siguiente. Mientras esto sucedía, mi hijo Christopher, que tiene síndrome de Down y autismo, avanzaba en la escuela. Trabajamos muy duro para conseguir apoyo para que él tuviera éxito y fuera incluido en la escuela y obtuviera el apoyo adecuado para poder experimentar la carrera escolar más adecuada, aprender a ser un niño y luego un adolescente al estar con otros niños y adolescentes. A veces fue un proceso largo, estresante e incluso doloroso, pero, admitámoslo, he criado a un millón de niños. Soy buena con procesos largos, pesados ​​y a menudo molestos.

Christopher caminó con decisión en la escuela secundaria y lo llevó a la preparatoria. Esto no fue sin intentos y frustraciones, sino con una comunicación constante con la escuela y un equipo que probablemente aprendió a escuchar y actuar porque yo era una madre colaborativa y que compartía muchas ideas y también una madre leona.

Christopher lo logró, teniendo muchos de los mismos maestros que todos mis otros hijos tuvieron cuando fueron a la misma escuela e hizo algunas muy buenas amistades y relaciones que han moldeado su independencia y propósito en la vida. Poder asistir a todas las clases a las que también asistieron sus amigos del vecindario y de la iglesia lo ayudó a trabajar duro y no solo a recibir, sino también a obtener y ganar su Diploma Extendido.

Boy smiling wearing checkered shirt, tie, and glasses outside on a basketball court

Sabíamos cuando nació que era único. Sabíamos que iba a tener que ser más fuerte y más decidido que nadie para tener éxito, y sabíamos que nos haría, como familia, mejores personas de las que hubiéramos sido por nuestra cuenta. Sin embargo, creo que no estábamos preparados para darnos cuenta de que Chris sería más divertido que todos nosotros, más inteligente de muchas maneras que todos nosotros, más fuerte y más decidido que todos nosotros, sin miedo a decirnos las cosas que no tienen sentido, no tiene miedo de mostrar amor, compasión y amistad con un simple choque de puños, dame cinco (high five) y un suave toque en la frente para mostrar que, aunque su rostro y sus gestos no lo demuestren, te ama y aprecia profundamente y genuinamente hasta el fondo de su corazón.

Christopher, estamos muy orgullosos de ti. Felicitaciones, y aquí vamos por un futuro ambicioso, emocionante y enriquecedor y otros 18 grandes años. ¡Te amamos!

Filed Under: Blog en Español Tagged With: autism, blogs, dignity of risk, Dream Big Dreams, graduation, inclusion, personal story, transition, whole life

Here’s to you, Christopher!

May 29, 2020 by Molly Williamson

By Whitnie Trost

So I am a mom of 6 kids- 5 boys and one girl. 30 years ago, I began my journey of being a mom and just kept going. I come from a big family and so does my husband, so when you find something you are good at, you go with it, strengthening your talents and all that. When I had my youngest son, Christopher, at the age of 34,  I had a house-full and there were many days when I thought my life was one never ending day. I often could not remember what day it was.  If it weren’t for my other kids going to school and having a schedule, pants and make up probably would have been an option I opted out of. I truly loved being a mom and I was totally used to, and really good at, chaos, but I am not going to lie, there were days when I thought stepping on Cheerios and squished applesauce, and being a mediator between my 14 year old and my 5 year old over Nintendo games was going to do me in.  I often wondered if my life would ever be more glamorous than what it was at that time.

Amazingly time went on and I survived each crazy day, and my oldest started high school, then my next one and then the next.  As this was going on my son Christopher, who experiences Down syndrome and Autism, was advancing in school.  We worked so hard to get him support in being successful and included in school and getting the right support in place to be able to experience the most appropriate school career, learning to be a kid and then a teenager by being with other kids and teenagers.  This was sometimes a long, stressful and even painful process, but, let’s face it, I have raised a million kids.  I am good with long, taxing and often annoying processes.

Christopher hit his stride in middle school and carried that stride on into high school.  This was not without trials,  and frustrations, but with constant communication with the school and a team that probably learned to just listen and do because I was a collaborative, brainstorming tiger mom.

Christopher made it through, having a ton of the same teachers all my other kids had when they went there and he made some really great friendships and relationships that have shaped his independence and purpose in life. Being able to attend all the classes that his friends from the neighborhood and church also attended helped him to work hard and not only receive but earn and achieve his Extended Diploma.

Boy smiling wearing checkered shirt, tie, and glasses outside on a basketball court

We knew when he was born that he was unique. We knew he was going to have to be stronger and more determined than anyone else to succeed, and we knew he would make us, as a family, better people than we ever would have been on our own. I think we were unprepared though, to realize that Chris would be funnier than all of us, smarter in so many ways than all of us, stronger and more determined than all of us, not afraid to call you out on things that don’t make sense, not afraid to show love, compassion and friendship with a simple fist bump, high five, and a gentle forehead touch to show that even though his face and mannerisms may not show it, he deeply and genuinely loves and appreciates you to his core.

Christopher we are so proud of you! Congratulations, and here’s to an ambitious, exciting and empowering future and another 18 great years. We love you bud!

Filed Under: General Tagged With: autism, blogs, determination, dignity of risk, diploma, down syndrome, Dream Big Dreams, graduation, high school, personal story, Supports, transition, whole life

The Next Chapter

May 31, 2019 by Molly Williamson

By Melissa Fisher

With Ben’s permission, I want to share a little backstory on parenting a kid with a high IQ, diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6. I’m doing so because I want to convey a message of hope to parents who are in the thick of managing a kid who in their atypical being, have a very hard time conforming to the structure and expectations of the public school system.

Last night I watched my son walk across the auditorium stage to receive the President’s Education Award, Honors stole, National Honor Society blue and gold cord, and OSAA Activities Scholar award. As I watched, inside me a wave of memories and emotions swelled up. I recalled every test at the Children’s Program, every meeting with the child psychologist, every conversation with a teacher, principal and school counselor to coordinate how we could ensure Ben would be successful. And by success, I articulated early on to all of the professionals, I meant that Ben would enjoy his school experience.

That goal was NOT easy to achieve— especially in grade school. He was disruptive, argumentative, non compliant, and would not sit still. Ben did not thrive in that structure and struggled to maintain interest in what was being taught. He took Adderall and I felt horrible about it, but without it, he couldn’t complete tasks and his handwriting illegible. In one parent/student/teacher meeting in 5th grade, his teacher shared with me that his handwriting had to improve, to which Ben confronted, “Why? There are keyboards and smartphones and I don’t need that skill to write.” Mic drop. The next week, Ben received a sort of laptop that he used until his sophomore year of high school.

Ben was on an IEP all through school. It was vital to his success, but it was critical that I was persistent and advocated for my son’s ongoing needs. I routinely scheduled with his newly assigned grade school teachers a week before school started a “Get to know Ben meeting.” I shared what worked at home and encouraged them to tell me what they discover works for them.” We were all a team and we would succeed together.

Young man holding diplomas and honors at graduation and wear graduation robes
Ben at his graduation

But I must give credit where credit is due, IT’S ALL BEN. HE made incredible progress and HE worked extremely hard. He wasn’t being defiant to be disrespectful, he needed something different than was being offered and challenged and changed us all. I learned how to parent because of him, and in some ways I wish I had received a set of cords last night to represent my own parenting achievement. Thank you Ben. Thank you for applying yourself. Thank you for staying true to WHO YOU ARE. Thank you for not giving up and working so incredibly hard. You said it aptly last night, “This is just the end of a chapter and I’m on to the next one.” Yes you are my dear boy, and I cannot wait to see it unfold. I love you with all my heart and soul.

Son and mother standing together for a photo
Ben and his Mom Melissa

Filed Under: General Tagged With: accommodations, ADHD, advocacy, Assistive technology, Dream Big Dreams, Enjoy School, graduation, High Expectations, Honors, IEP, Medicated, Medicines, Meetings, modifications, One Page Profile, Person Centered Planning, personal story, side effects, Special Education, special needs, think college, Twice Exceptional, whole life

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