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accommodations

The Next Chapter

May 31, 2019 by Molly Williamson

By Melissa Fisher

With Ben’s permission, I want to share a little backstory on parenting a kid with a high IQ, diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6. I’m doing so because I want to convey a message of hope to parents who are in the thick of managing a kid who in their atypical being, have a very hard time conforming to the structure and expectations of the public school system.

Last night I watched my son walk across the auditorium stage to receive the President’s Education Award, Honors stole, National Honor Society blue and gold cord, and OSAA Activities Scholar award. As I watched, inside me a wave of memories and emotions swelled up. I recalled every test at the Children’s Program, every meeting with the child psychologist, every conversation with a teacher, principal and school counselor to coordinate how we could ensure Ben would be successful. And by success, I articulated early on to all of the professionals, I meant that Ben would enjoy his school experience.

That goal was NOT easy to achieve— especially in grade school. He was disruptive, argumentative, non compliant, and would not sit still. Ben did not thrive in that structure and struggled to maintain interest in what was being taught. He took Adderall and I felt horrible about it, but without it, he couldn’t complete tasks and his handwriting illegible. In one parent/student/teacher meeting in 5th grade, his teacher shared with me that his handwriting had to improve, to which Ben confronted, “Why? There are keyboards and smartphones and I don’t need that skill to write.” Mic drop. The next week, Ben received a sort of laptop that he used until his sophomore year of high school.

Ben was on an IEP all through school. It was vital to his success, but it was critical that I was persistent and advocated for my son’s ongoing needs. I routinely scheduled with his newly assigned grade school teachers a week before school started a “Get to know Ben meeting.” I shared what worked at home and encouraged them to tell me what they discover works for them.” We were all a team and we would succeed together.

Young man holding diplomas and honors at graduation and wear graduation robes
Ben at his graduation

But I must give credit where credit is due, IT’S ALL BEN. HE made incredible progress and HE worked extremely hard. He wasn’t being defiant to be disrespectful, he needed something different than was being offered and challenged and changed us all. I learned how to parent because of him, and in some ways I wish I had received a set of cords last night to represent my own parenting achievement. Thank you Ben. Thank you for applying yourself. Thank you for staying true to WHO YOU ARE. Thank you for not giving up and working so incredibly hard. You said it aptly last night, “This is just the end of a chapter and I’m on to the next one.” Yes you are my dear boy, and I cannot wait to see it unfold. I love you with all my heart and soul.

Son and mother standing together for a photo
Ben and his Mom Melissa

Filed Under: General Tagged With: accommodations, ADHD, advocacy, Assistive technology, Dream Big Dreams, Enjoy School, graduation, High Expectations, Honors, IEP, Medicated, Medicines, Meetings, modifications, One Page Profile, Person Centered Planning, personal story, side effects, Special Education, special needs, think college, Twice Exceptional, whole life

The Sweet Taste of Victory

April 26, 2019 by Molly Williamson

By Carol Bunten

Raising 2 children who experience disability has its challenges. Swim lessons were a particularly Sisyphean task for us. We spent weekend mornings watching my children roll their boulders of fear up the mountain, only to have them roll back down again, year after year, with little progress and an ever-changing cast of befuddled instructors.

Because 71% of the Earth is covered with water, however, quitting wasn’t an option. In my heart, I believe that my kids can do anything with enough encouragement. So we signed them up for a triathlon, even though swimming features prominently and had been a source of anxiety and frustration for years.

The FACT website suggested that there would be a “wide range of options for supporting athletes as they complete the course,” including flotation devices, different types of bikes, and competing on a team with family and friends. I figured that with a lot of options we would find some way to get my kids 50 meters across the pool, hopefully without tantrums. Then, somehow, on a bike and then jogging. No problem! What could go wrong? Little did I know how much could go right!

I spent the first Tri for Youth on the bike course, first aid kit in hand in case any mishaps arose, while my husband supported my son and daughter. Despite my emergency preparedness, I was unprepared for the overwhelming sense of pride I felt watching the athletes and the battalion of volunteers cheering them on. My heart exploded, and tears poured from my eyes for three hours, witnessing successes of the athletes, all morning long. Somewhere in the middle of it all, my slightly damp 7 year old son raced by, alone on his bike, all smiles. He was so delighted by his accomplishments , and the freedom to speed ahead amidst all of the supporters, that he tried to joyfully tell me all about it as he whizzed by and promptly hit a curb, falling and scraping his knee.

He was still so proud of himself that he gamely got up, dusted himself off, got some first aid, and pushed through. He couldn’t wait to get to the finish line. So many previous obstacles had been met with frustration (and intolerance of his frustration). This time, magically, he just keep going without a fuss — even though he needed a pretty big bandaid.  My tears doubled. Fortunately the first aid kit spent the rest of the day neatly tucked at my side, minus a few Kleenexes.

Boy riding a bike
Note the big smile (and big bandaid)

At the end of that first All Ability Tri4Youth, my whole family felt like we had accomplished something major. We all felt a new sense of confidence. The kids tried something that felt impossible, and found it to be possible, with the right support. They built on this success, and were motivated to get themselves across the pool in the next triathlon just with the power of their own bodies (and maybe one kickboard and a noodle, just in case, but GREAT PROGRESS WAS MADE!)

These past 2 triathlons will be something I remember for the rest of my life.  I know that these experiences have provided a sense of accomplishment for my children, who don’t always feel capable and secure in themselves in the world. Two years later, they have built on these successes and lessened their fears enough to demand a trip to Great Wolf Lodge to try out the waterslides, of all things.

The mission of FACT Oregon is to empower families experiencing disability in their pursuit of a whole life. I’d say: Mission accomplished.

Register for the 2019 All Ability Tri4Youth!

 

Family posing for a photograph
My family and I at the finish line!

Filed Under: General Tagged With: accommodations, All Ability Tri4youth, athletes, Belonging, celebrate, dignity of risk, disability, donate, Event, fear, inclusion, personal story, pride, progress, special needs, success, support FACT, Swim Lessons, Tri4Youth, Volunteer, whole life

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